Script Draft

SCENE 1 : INT.SCHOOL STREET. DAY

Tom and Jerry are walking down the road , side by side.

TOM

Did you see that new cop’s movie that came out this Saturday?

(Excitingly)

JERRY

YESS it was awesome!!

(Ecstatically)

They begin to copy scenes from the film, acting as a cop duo.

(they begin to duck behind cars and pretend to shoot with their imaginary guns)

SCENE 2: INT.CANTEEN. DAY

Margaret and Tina were busy listen to the morning radio while getting the food ready

MARGARET

Tina where's the rest of the double chocolate chip cookies? The ones that the headmaster loves?

(Puzzled)

TINA

I don't know do I. It was probably a little brat that stole'em

(Harshly)

Tom and Jerry were overhearing the dinner ladies as they walked past the canteen

(They gave each other a glare of assurance)

(smirking at each other)

SCENE 3: INT. COORIDOOR DAY

Walking down the corridor with confidence, adjusting their uniform and putting on detective shades slow motion. They search different areas of the school site, including the boy’s toilet, even interrogating helpless students using the urinals.

INT. TOLIETS

(Tom glares at the first boy he sees)

(they bust down toilet doors/kicking)

(Tom directs jerry over to the boy in the urinal-behind him)
(Jerry uses urinal right next to boy and gradually turns head to stare at boy)
(Boy awkwardly turns his head slowly towards Jerry)
(Jerry continues to stare)
(Boy turns away)
(Boy see Jerry from the corner of his eye still staring)
(boy looks back and Jerry nods)
(boy awkwardly nods back)
(longest pee ever)

JERRY

You got any cookies ?

(Tom trying to looking intimidating by the door)

THE BOY

(insults jerry) *German

(Seemed puzzled)

(Tom gives thumbs up to Jerry as if to say "any luck?")

JERRY

Sorted

(with a sense of uncertainty)

SCENE 4 : INT. QUIET ROOM

Moving on to different areas of the school, they come across the sixth form quiet study room, however Tom and Jerry fail to read the sign 'QUIET study'. As a result, they enter the room making a ruckus and irritating the sixth form students.

(They immediately start harassing students)

Due to their shenanigans, Tom and Jerry are put into after school detention where all the student criminals are found...or so they believe!

MISS TURNER

Right, that’s it boys detention NOW

(Commandingly)

TOM

But—

MISS TURNER

Erm no more buts, off you go

INT. DETENSION ROOM

The interrogation continues with sneaky notes being passed and firm stares into the eyes of their suspects, soon whispering to each other

MR WARNER

SHHHHHH

TOM AND JERRY

Laughs

MR WARD

Is there something funny?

(Harshly)

Their smirks immediately transform into straight faces

After release the two turned on their mobile phones and received identical text messages from an unidentified number.

The text simply said "Room D10"4:00pm; Not giving up hope, Tom and Jerry finally arrive at a door with the writing “room D10

SCENE 5. INT. ROOM D10. DAY

 Before they enter, they scan around them, but when only seeing a caretaker in sight, they proceed to enter the room. Entering the dark room, they both begin clumsily searching around, nosily knocking over items in the process. Smartly turning on their flashlights, Tom and Jerry split up in order to find clues.

Correspondingly, Jerry finds a grainy, brown substance on the desk, begins rolling it around between his fingers, and then proceeds to search desk draws in hopes of finding his next clue. At the same time, Tom searches a nearby filing cabinet, finding an outdated news article he slowly begins reading it. Meanwhile, Jerry still at the desk, begins ruffling and pulling out the desk draws only to find a jam pack draw full of recites, vouchers and over stamped royalty cards. Still reading the news article Tom shockingly discovers a picture of the man on article to be Mr Craft for 'Man Breaks Guinness World Record for most cookies eaten in 3 minutes.

TOM

Jerry look at this

(In shock)

Searching around the desk, Jerry trips over what appears to be a bin. Bending down to pick it up, Jerry finds a pile of chocolate chip cookie packets, the remaining scattering of crumbs around it

JERRY

Tom waittt a minute...

(Both with startling expressions on their face, Tom and Jerry, evidence in hand, turn around to each other , their facial expressions only reading one thing)

Mr Craft is the chocolate chip cookie......

(With stunned looks on their faces, they hear the door handle begin to turn.  )


TOM AND JERRY
(Together)

'thief!'

HEADMASTER

There is only one way to settle this.......

(In a serious manor)

(The boys look up at him terrified for what is to come)

(NEROUSLY)

*screen cuts to black*

(SUDDENLY)

Surrounded by empty boxes and stacks of chocolate chip cookies, Tom, Jerry and Mr Craft sit slumped on chairs, pop bellies bursting through their shirts with milk moustaches, and jokingly clash their milk glasses together making a toast. 

Action/Comedy Inspirations

Here are some action/comedy genre movies that contain similar aspects as out shot films such as two main characters that display the following

• Two main characters of the same gender 
• Comedic relationship
• Close/ differentiating relationship 
•  Role of being a poor excuse/mockery of cops 

The film features a quirky partnership between Ben Barber (Hart), a fast-talking security guard, who wants to impress his soon to be brother-in-law, Detective Payton (Ice Cube), by joining him on patrol duties. Laurence Fishburne and John Leguizamo also star in this humorous action comedy.

Treatmeant 3

AUDIENCE FEEDBACK:
Miss&Susan: So what happens at the end? It's not clear
Miss: The last scene need to be more funny and obvious. Extend it before the teacher finds them in the room.
Zara: The head teacher should walk in, and frame/blame the boys for the missing cookies
Deni: The headteacher could bribe them, and they could all eat them together at the end.
Miss: Instead of the ending you have, the teacher could walk in and catch the boys. There there would be a shot of him locking the door, the boys gulping and the screen fading into black. 
Miss: The ending should be made obvious visually, rather than with lots of dialogue.
Miss: Lead the audience to believe they are caught 
Michael: The head teacher could hire the boys as spy more cookies or hide his tracks. 
Jojor: The head master could have a closet and put the boys in there to teach them a lesson.

*The text highlighted in red are the improvements and changes we made to our treatment, based on audience feedback from Draft Treatment 2 *

Title- Down To The Crumb

Tag Line- 

Pitch
When a suspicious crime takes place at school, cop obsessed best friends Tom and Jerry, deliciously take it upon themselves to get down to the crumb of crime; acting as crime stopping cops they make it their mission to successfully solve the finger licking mystery at hand. 

Treatment
September 15th, 10:45am; and it’s going to be another tedious day for best pals, Tom and Jerry, at school. On their way to school Tom and Jerry talk about the new cop movie that has just been released in cinema. This causes the two mates to begin to role play parts of the movie, acting as a police duo. As the two progress to school, they keep an extra eye and ear out, searching for their next case.

11:20am, School Canteen ;*Dinner lady 1 (Margaret) is restocking the canteen vending machine while dinner lady 2 (Tina) is setting up the break time meals* "TINAAAAA ! Where's the rest of the double chocolate chip cookies? The ones that the headmaster loves?" "I don't know do I. It was probably a little brat that stole'em". Overhearing the dinner lady's conversation, Tom and Jerry glare at each other in such a mischievous way that it is almost obvious by the looks on their faces what they are about to get up to.

11:25am; Tom and Jerry leave the canteen.

Walking down the corridor with confidence, adjusting their uniform and putting on detective shades *slow motion*. They search different areas of the school site, including the boys toilet, even interrogating helpless students using the urinals. Moving on to different areas of the school, they come across the sixth form quiet study room,however Tom and Jerry fail to read the sign 'QUIET study'. As a result, they enter the room making a ruckus and irritating the sixth form students. 

Due to their shenanigans, Tom and Jerry are put into after school detention where all the student criminals are found...or so they believe! 

3:00pm; The interrogation continues with sneaky notes being passed and firm stares into the eyes of their suspects, soon whispering to each other. "SSSHHHhhhhhh" says Mr Ward (The detention officer). Sniggering, Tom and Jerry laugh at Mr Wards sweat patches. "Ohh something's funny is it ?Well,we can discuss what was soo funn,y in your extended detention" *Their smirks immediately transform into straight faces*

3:25pm; Tom and Jerry's fellow detentioners are released 5 minutes early due to good behavior.
 

3:30pm;Tom and Jerry are released 5 minutes later than scheduled to, simply due to Mr Ward's dislike towards them.
After release the two turned on their mobile phones and recieved identical text messages from an unidentified number. The text simply said "Room D10"4:00pm; Not giving up hope, Tom and Jerry finally arrive at a door with the writing"room D10". Before they enter, they scan around them, but when only seeing a caretaker in sight, they proceed to enter the room.Entering the dark room, they both begin clumsily searching around, nosily knocking over items in the process. Smartly turning on their flashlights, Tom and Jerry split up in order to find clues. Jerry firstly sits down at the desk, swiping his flash light across it his hand accidentally moves the computer mouse,u knowingly bringing up a screen saver of a cookie to the side of him. Correspondingly, Jerry finds a grainy, brown substance on the desk, begins rolling it around between his fingers, and then proceeds to search desk draws in hopes of finding his next clue. At the same time, Tom searches a nearby filing cabinet, finding an outdated news article he slowly begins reading it. Meanwhile, Jerry still at the desk, begins ruffling and pulling out the desk draws only to find a jam pack draw full of recites, vouchers and over stamped royalty cards. Still reading the news article Tom shockingly discovers a picture of the man on article to be Mr Craft for 'Man Breaks Guinness World Record for most cookies eaten in 3 minuets.'  Maneuvering around the desk, Jerry trips over what appears to be a bin. Bending down to pick it up, Jerry finds a pile of chocolate chip cookie packets,the remaining scattering of crumbs around it.  Tom: "Jerry waittt a minute..."Both with startling expressions on their face , Tom and Jerry, evidence in hand, turn around to each other , their facial expressions only reading one thing: Mr Craft is the chocolate chip cookie thief! 

With stunned looks on their faces, they hear a tweak as the door handle begins to turn. *screen cuts to black*

4:45pm.

*screen fades from black* Surrounded by empty boxes and stacks of chocolate chip cookies,Tom, Jerry and Mr Craft sit slumped on chairs, pop bellies bursting through their shirts with milk mustaches, and jokingly clash their milk glasses together making a toast.

Draft Treatment 1 Story Board

Treatment Draft 1 Mood Board from tyrachuck12

Here, we complied an assortment of images, sound and video that portray different concepts, themes and plot points within our short film story. This story board helps us convey the breakdown of our short story and provide some detail to what each scene/plot point will consist of.

Slow Motion- 21 Jump Street

This is an example of how we want to portray the scene where Tom & Jerry walk down the corridor in confidence adjusting their uniforms and putting on additional props of sunglasses. Like the scene in 21 jump street, we want to convey a comedic tone, the audience laughing at the two mains over dramatic behaviour.

Q&A Tom and Jerry

1. If you could change your name to anything what would it be?
Tom:"Agent DOUBLE-O-TWO" Jerry:" Agent DOUBLE-THREE" 

2. How many finger nails do you have?
Jerry:"Five!" (said abruptly) Tom:(giggles)"Of course not, we have four finger nails and one thumb nail"

3. When will the world end?
Tom:"IT WON'T" Jerry:"Because whoever is trying to end it will be put into jail by us" *Fist spuud each other*

4. Tom, are you nice to Jerry?
"Yes definitely, Jerry is my Broskiii"

5. Jerry, is Tom nice to you?
"Wellllll sometii..(Tom gives Jerry a firm stare)...uuhh hmm, I mean yeah he is. Always"

6. Who wears the trousers in your friendship?
Jerry:(Remains silent and looks to the ground) Tom:"I guess you could say I do"

7. Jerry what about Tom don't you like?
"Ermmm, nothing really"

8. Tom what about Jerry don't you like?
Tom:"Well basically when we sleepover at each others house, while Jerry is sleeping he snores and farts at the same time. It's really disgusting" Jerry:"No I Do Not!" Tom:"Jerry you do" Jerry:"Don't!" Tom:"Do!"

9. Where do you both see yourself 5 years from now?
"Protecting the queen" *said in unison, both stick chest out and put right fist to chest*

10. What do you think PCSO stands for ?
Tom: "Police Community Support Officer Obvioussssssly"

11. what about B&E?
Is this a joke, orrrr ? Breaking and entering of course.

12. What...
Tom:"Waitttt, hold on a minute...what's with all the questions ayy ?" Jerry:"yeahhh ayy, do you know anything about those cookies???"

Props List

Scene 1:

• 1 black side bag
• 1 black or brown leather laptop/holdall bag

Scene 2:

• A range of snacks- Apple juice, orange juice, pineapple juice, sandwiches, pasta pots, 5 large cookies, apples, bananas, oranges, pears. 
• Cutlery; e.g. plastic and metal forks, knives and spoons
• Plates and containers; metal and paper ones
• 4/5 empty boxes
• Cookie wrappers

Scene 3:

• Tissue roll
• Soap bar or squeeze soap

Scene 4:

• Text books and work books
• Pencil cases
• 1 large table or several tables put together and several chairs

Scene 5:

• Empty box with cookie wrappers
• Newspaper article (cookie story of Mr Craft)
• Picture frame and picture of Mr Craft
• Vouchers, receipts or loyalty card for cookie shop
• Office bin
• 3 large cookies

Costumes List

Main 

Tom- Black formal trousers, white collard shirt with black tie. Smart black shoes. Black blazer.

Jerry- Black formal trousers, white collard shirt with black tie. Smart black shoes. Black jumper/ cardigan.

Extras

Tina (Dinner Lady)- White polo shirt, black or blue trousers, white kitchen apron and kitchen hair net.

Margaret (Dinner Lady)- White polo shirt, black or blue trousers, white kitchen apron and kitchen hair net.

Mr Ward (Detention Officer)- Black or brown spectacles with a thick frame. Light blue shirt, with a dirty collar and sweat patches. Grey or black trousers.

Mr Craft (Headmaster)- Black or grey three-piece suit, black shiny shoes and red tie with gold a tie-clip.

Boy in the toilet- Formal black trousers, white collard shirt (loose and un-tucked) from shirt with black tie (done extremely short with top button undone), formal black school shoes.

Treatment 2

September 15th, 10:45am; and it’s going to be another tedious day for best pals, Tom and Jerry, at school. On their way to school tom and jerry talk about the new cop movie that has just been released in cinema. This causes the two mates to begin to role play parts of the movie, acting as a police duo. As the two progress to school they keep an extra eye and ear out, searching for their next case.

*Dinner lady 1 (Margaret) is restocking the canteen vending machine while dinner lady 2 (Tina) is setting up the break time meals* "TINAAAAA ! where's the rest of the double chocolate chip cookies? The ones that the headmaster loves?" "I dont know do I. It was probably a little brat that stole'em". Tom and Jerry glare at eachother in such a mischievous way that it is almost obvious by the looks on their faces what they are about to get up to.

At 11:20am; Tom and Jerry leave the canteen.

 walking down the corridor with confidence, adjusting their uniform and putting on detective shades *slow motion*. They search different areas of the school site, including the boys toilet, even interrogating helpless students using the urinals. Moving on to different areas of the school, they come across the sixth form quiet study room however Tom and Jerry fail to read the sign 'QUIET study'. As a result they enter the room making a ruckus and irritating the sixth form students. Due to their shenanigans,  Tom and Jerry are put into after school detention where all the student criminals are found...or so they believe! The interrogation continues with sneaky notes being passed and firm stares into the eyes of their suspects, soon whispering to each other. "SSSHHHhhhhhh" says Mr Ward (The detention officer)...*sniggers and laughs from Tom and Jerry at Mr Wards sweat patches*. "ohh something's funny is it ? we can discuss what was soo funny in your extended detention" *Their smirks immediately transformed into straight faces*

3:25pm Tom and Jerry's fellow detentioners are released 5 minutes early due to good behaviour.
4:35 Tom and Jerry are released 5 minutes later than scheduled to, simply due to Mr Ward's dislike towards them.
After release the two turned on their mobile phones and recieved identical text messages from an unidentified number. The text simply said "Room D10"

So not giving up hope, at 4:39 Tom and Jerry arrive at a door with the writing of "room D10". Before they enter they scan around them, only seeing the caretaker in sight *caretaker slips mobile phone in her pocket swiftly*. Entering the room they both begin to search, being clumsy as ever knocking items over. Jerry finds a trail of crumbs leading to the cookie wrapper he finds under the desk of the office. Tom: "Jerry waittt a minute..." *Turns on light to find a picture of their headmaster Mr Craft on the wall* with stunned looks on their faces they hear a tweak as the door handle begins to turn.


4:52pm.
The moment Tom and Jerry decided to stop watching cop movies.

AUDIENCE FEEDBACK:
Miss&Susan: So what happens at the end? It's not clear
Miss: The last scene need to be more funny and obvious. Extend it before the teacher finds them in the room.
Zara: The head teacher should walk in, and frame/blame the boys for the missing cookies
Deni: The headteacher could bribe them, and they could all eat them together at the end.
Miss: Instead of the ending you have, the teacher could walk in and catch the boys. There there would be a shot of him locking the door, the boys gulping and the screen fading into black. 
Miss: The ending should be made obvious visually, rather than with lots of dialogue.
Miss: Lead the audience to believe they are caught 
Michael: The head teacher could hire the boys as spy more cookies or hide his tracks. 
Jojor: The head master could have a closet and put the boys in there to teach them a lesson.

Assessment 5 - Task 5

Mood Board from OwenEdz

Story Analysis 1

Creative Story Writing

The story idea that I created was about a boy called Harold who lived a wealthy life with both his parents and one day when his parents criminal lifestyles catch up to them he is forced to evacuate his home in London to retreat to their family home out in Hawaii. However this journey back to Hawaii contains an experience that causes Harold to question whether he is dead or alive. There may be some practicalities when attempting to make this story into a short film as linking to the colour white one of our themes is wealth and the locations of a private car and private jet may become challenging to execute. This may be because a plane, let alone an empty plane and a top class rental car would be difficult to acquire with the low financial budget that we are on. Furthermore there is a significant part in the film where the actor must hit their head while a vehicle is moving. This could cause difficulties mainly due to health and safety reasons meaning a professional stunt person would need to be required which would also not be advisable as we have a low financial budget. Additionally my film idea has a logical issue where there is no build up or explanation to how and why Harold’s parents live an illegal live working as burglars. The general themes of my film idea are wealth, mystery and ambiguity. Wealth as the story line is based around a rich family. Mystery as although they are rich their real job titles are unidentified to everyone. Ambiguous as the ending is distorted and not clear, it is unknown whether the main character Harold is actually dead or alive. In relation to the development of the character Harold the events that are happening in his life need to be broken up as in the film incidents are rather sudden.